Know everything about Premarital Counselling Services

The divorce rate in our country is rising steadily and is matching up to the rates prevalent in the countries of the west. As we further delve into understanding the root cause of this issue, it is found to be either an issue related to physical incompatibility or emotional incongruity between the partners. Our in-house research has shown that in 90% cases the trauma of divorce could have easily been avoided provide the young adults had undergone orientation for pre-marital counselling before getting into holy matrimony.

Several researches and its findings have shown that the rate of psychological disturbances due to 'maladjustment' in couples often leading to situations like Suicide, Homicide, Marital breakdown, Alcoholism, Drug abuse etc. are increasing at an alarming rate. One can also see the rise in the number of cases of depression, stress, nervous anxiety and psychosomatic disorders predominantly in married couples.

We have often heard this line either in movies or from a near one that “It is easy to fall in love. But it is a lot harder to stay in love.” As individuals, we don’t believe that someone can systematically teach us how to have an emotionally and physically fulfilling and yet at the same time a meaningful relationship. But we at Integrated Institute of Psychological Research Studies-IIPRS are finally, here to provide you the access to all the missing information you need to build the happy marriage you rightfully deserve!

India's first full-fledged Pre-marriage Counselling Centre at Integrated Institute of Psychological Research and Studies (IIPRS) has been doing the pioneering work of helping young adults develop healthy attitudes and skills, to interact with their prospective partners, in a respectful and appropriate way; so that they can grow and maintain a meaningful relationship. It is also advised that one is aware of critical issues, which later have the tendency to become contaminants in marital life, and at the same time learning the art of healthy communication, that can facilitate problem-solving in relationships is what is covered in pre-marital counseling.

Let’s realize that before we start to drive on the road, we need to learn driving, and know the road rules etc. However, for the most important milestone in your life– marriage, do we prepare ourselves in essential ways? We start preparing for a wedding months before it is scheduled to happen but have we ever realized how prepared we are for marriage?

It is a common understanding that we need to prepare the young generation to enter into matrimony with more awareness, transparency & understanding, and to help them develop more mutually caring, respectful and lasting relationships. Pre-Marital Counselling for young adults also aims at enlightening the participants on all the aspects of a healthy sexual relationship.

Unfortunately, unlike more developed countries in the west, sex education is still not advocated in educational institutes in our country. Consequently, it becomes extremely important that those entering into matrimony be suitably informed about human sexuality, so that the correct scientific knowledge leads to building healthy attitudes towards sex, high standards of conduct, responsible behavior, and wholesome personalities. People from the young generation will definitely be able to tie the nuptial knot with more confidence and start their new relationship on a more sound footing if they are given right information at the right time which involved a complete understanding of all the aspects of the male-female relationship.

Pre-Marital counselling is usually attended by both the partners who are getting married, however it can happen even if one of the partners want to attend it. Broadly speaking, the couple here gets an opportunity to review their own expectations and assumptions regarding marriage and their partner. It is also an effective way to know each others’ beliefs and value system, also set reasonable expectations on one another and be better prepared for the marriage. Even doubts and hesitation regarding sexual intimacy are addressed.

As a social institution, marriage is a milestone that needs to be handled with extreme care and sensitivity and could be anxiety-provoking. At IIPRS, we recognize this. Our counselors work with couples during pre-marital counseling, either in individual and joint sessions in order to explore their expectations of themselves and of each other and also on any existing conflict. Our primary concern is that in pre-marital counseling sessions, we concentrate on the following domains:

  • Developing a better understanding of yourself and your partner

Marrying someone with whom we have not spent time with is usually anxiety-provoking. The anxiety is mostly alleviated if the partners have known each other from before and have been in a relationship. In both these cases, there is a high possibility that we haven’t explored certain specific personality traits or aspects of our partners from before and they only surface after marriage. In such cases, our team of experts use and refer to Psychometric instruments and tests in addition to regular counseling which allows us to gain and arrive at an objective understanding of the personalities of both partners.

  • Learning and gaining insight about personality differences

It is quite possible that in a marriage both the strengths and weaknesses of the partners are more noticeable. As a result, our endeavor is to provide the couple with a complete understanding of their personality-fit in terms of where they are compatible, what situations could pose as a challenge to them and how to deal with such situations. Such an understanding along with improved communication skills and coping strategies will always serve to prevent and reduce the conflict intensity.

  • Allowing yourself to develop and build realistic expectations out of marriage

The happiness of an looming marriage prompts us to see it through rose-tinted glasses which in long run only adds to distress as our expectations remain unfulfilled. Similarly, increased anxiety levels may lead to a negativistic view of marriage. In both these cases, a realistic evaluation of marriage with its share of added fulfillment as well as responsibility is necessary and a significant focus area.

  • Understand, accepting, acknowledging and dealing with change

We help the distressed couple express how they feel about the sea-change that marriage brings in through our pre-marital counseling. We have seen how the couple is then empowered to deal with awaiting changes in environment and lifestyle.

Our idea is that through the process of pre-marital counseling, we don’t only encourage healthier relationships between the couple but at the same time assist in enhancing the resilience of both the individuals.

Want to get some more information on Pre marital counseling, please read Times of India Article