Marital Discord Counselling Service
Marriage, is a socially and ritually sanctioned union between two individuals, their relationship establishes rights and obligations between them, and with their children and their in-laws. The definition of marriage differs according to various cultures, it is chiefly an institution based on interpersonal relationships. In many cultures, marriage is considered to be mandatory before indulging in any form of sexual activity. If broadly understood marriage is considered a cultural universal. Since marriage is such a complex issue and in many countries like in India its considered a union of two families. A marriage discord is common and often is considered not that important that a couple would go for counseling and listen to experts on how their marriage should work. Discord in marriage often reflect poor understanding of one another, having different views when perceiving things and situations in which one is placed, having dissimilarities in the attitude level, differences in behavior and many forms of incompatibilities for instance good life-styles, clothing choices, likes/dislikes and orientation to life after marriage. Most issues faced by couples in marriage is centered around respect for each other, monetary requirements , providing freedom and space to each other, problems regarding planning a family. Many a times traditions play a major role in making matters difficult. This shows how your focus should be on the other person and also one should respect their partner. This follows the fact that you keep the partner’s interests, needs, preferences in mind while interacting and conversing with them. Counselling helps in improving mutual understanding, Understand diverse personality traits, Acceptance to changes.
Things you should keep in mind
The husband and wife are two distinct individuals who have different background and identities. It’s not a relationship where one posses another, both man and woman have to ensure each other’s psychological, physical and social well being. They both should mutually respect each other and at times of a conflict and discord only communication can help them.
The reasons of discords are;
1. Role confusion – Men and women are mostly confused about their roles as partners in a marriage. The man often believes his role in a marriage to be that of a provider. The woman on the other hand sees his role as a provider ,a protector,a friend The man sees the role of his woman as a companion for his mother who takes care of her and pleases her, whereas a woman sees her role as a companion to the man and not his mother. So, pleasing him is more essential for her than pleasing his mother. He thinks keeping his mother happy should be her main function.
2. Role conflicts – the most common expectation of any educated women is a certain level of independence and space. This is something which is often not welcomed by the partner and his family. Another reason of conflict is equal participation in decision making process which involves important decisions about money, children, holidaying, and family. It is one of the most basic reasons of a conflict. The conflict occurs when a woman is expected to be all smart, intelligent and contributing to the house but is often prevented from voicing her views and disagreements on certain issues.
3. Unrealistic demands – expectations and demands are the main source of choking interactions and communications amongst couples. Exaggerated notions of togetherness often result in distancing from one another. Demanding that the husband should be the perfect caretaker and fulfilling all the needs of the wife and the wife on the other hand is expected to be a perfect hostess and one who cooks, cleans the house.
4. Absence of space– Space is a affair of respect for any person’s right to privacy and freedom to be oneself and do what one prefers to. All this of course within the limits of marriage. The right to take on things one enjoys or cherishes is one thing. The freedom to be expressive in terms of a , phone call, writing a diary. All of this involves respect for other person as an entity. This secrecy should not to be understood as relating to doing anything wrong.
5. Pursuing one’s interests – This is elemental to anyone’s well being. So, the right to learn and persue one’s hobbies, visit friends and relatives should be settled as a matter of good will in any partnership.
6. Being over critical about everything– This destroys the best of marriages. It ruins the self-esteem of the person. It is humiliating and insulting as one stats to doubt itself and looses the confidence. The primary key here is to let go and also acquire the skill of criticizing the action or the statement and not the person.
The key here is to handle these issues in the first place by planning vacations together, going out for dinner or movie dates even after kids, making an appointment for a couple health spa. Other problems faced by a married couple are; extra marital affairs, nuclear family vs joint family, sex issues, compatibility issues, absence of trust. To deal with all these issues we provide the best marital discord services in India. We at Integrated Institution of Psychological Research and Studies assess the people by conducting gender equality, career, behavioral modifications, soft skill programs. There are special therapies and treatments. Many couples have improved and worked on their issues and saved their marriages from breaking away. Our expertise is in granting training programs and sessions to couples. Performing these activities and tasks together they come to learn many more things about each other and also unlearn a lot of things about their partner. Many a times these issues between a man and a woman effect their kids and the entire household. But with our guidance and help sessions one can safe it’s family from falling apart.